ESPEEKA DEE ENGLEE

whats that on the wall? its prolly my brains because Obama just blew my mind. This guy wants us to speak spanish? like all of us? as in a national language? like the USA will have TWO national languages? I love spanish people they are the bomb but let me break down the communication break down. If you can name me one country in the world that has TWO national languages and isn't 3rd world please tell me now cuz i cant think of any.

3rd world
india 7 national languages, 1,000+ dilects
philippines 2 national languages, 100 dialects
indonesia who the freak knows how many
Africa isnt there still uncharted land in africa?


1st world
USA, uno national languages
England, one
Germany, one
scottland, one
france, one
italy, one
greece, one

i could go on but for the sake of not i wont.

technacally you can say canada has two but come on really, no one really likes canada. nothing good has come out of canada, toronto bluejays, rapters, maple leafs, all subprime professional sports teams that will never win a chapionship anything.

Bottom line: its bad enough kids today have created their own txt language, Learning spanish will not make illegal immagrants any more American.

NO GOD ALLOWED

public schools, or should i say a malicious union of nefarious liberals dictating what children think do and eat. I hate them and i hope that my children will never experience a California public school.

here is what i find funny, it is not only accepted but encouraged that teachers talk about sex and how it works, talk about evolution like it's a proven fact that man has come from monkeys. Hand out condoms, have daycare centers, encourage sexual promiscuity, teach that being gay is a good and a completely natural thing.


heaven forbid that the word "GOD" be mentioned! that's grounds for expulsion! unless of course you are using it as a curse word THEN you may say God. As long as you are using it disrespectfully its ok. By the way no staring at the pregnant freshman next to you.

"because i'm the mom, thats why"

moms live by a different set of rules. they need no reason to back up what they say. when mom tells you to do something you do it regardless if it even does not need doing. Although mothers have generic responses like "it builds character" "makes you a good person" or "i dont care what the neighbor mom lets them do" very rarely do they need to back up a decision.

 You see mothers have these mystical powers that can blow children's minds with out warning or reason. being an observant guy i tried blowing my wife's mind, immediately she kicked my butt up through my head. 

don't ask me how moms do it, i dunno. all i know is that you kids better be on your toes cuz mazzah knows when you need more character. take it from a pro, find ways to build your own character because moms way is the hard way..  Let it be known so says kino filipino!

MAN-DATING

There is nothing homo, metro, or bi-sexual about man-dating. If you are new to the man-dating scene or are thinking about experimenting with some of your man friends, let me break down the rules for you.

1. The man who initiates the date is the one who drives. A request for gas money will result in termination of the man-date.

2. Man-dates are always dutch, and the "forgetting your wallet" trick will invariably lead to having you sit outside without participating in the activity.

3. Let your restaurant server know up front that the checks will be split.

4. No alcohol. We do not want you to get so hammered that you forget you are on a date with a MAN.

5. If attending the movies, there should be at least one empty seat reserved as buffer zone between you. This avoids both confusion among other movie goers and nonverbal fights for the armrest.

6. Do not say "Goodnight" to your man-date. "See ya bro," "Later man," or "Take it easy," are all acceptable biddings of farewell. "Goodnight" is reserved for members of the opposite sex.

RACIST!!!

Here is a cold hard fact of life.
People will always be racist as follows:

Asians
"the smart kids", small, funny, esthetically pleasing, drive only hondas, good at sports but not good enough to play college anything, 9 out of 10 have spiky hair, wacked out cartoons, incredibly over obsessed with dragonball z.... or pokemon. the inventors of the ugly car


Blacks
dominate in all sports except the ones that are played in the cold or in water,
thought to have an extra tendon in their knee making them jump higher and run faster, black women are among best arguers in the world, good singers, godfathers of jazz, make words like "stupid" "dope" and "retarded" mean good things.




Mexicans
mexican is a term used for anyone born south of the rio grande, even if you are
from Argentina you are mexican, only eat spicy foods that would kill a normal person, spanish chicks have the best butts.





Whites
slower, weaker, not as cool as blacks but somehow figure out a way to "suppress a brotha"
offended when called a "rich white person" although saying "rich black person" is a complement.
if a white male is not married by the time they are 60 they move to Asia and hook up with teen girls. Still and will always dominate the NHL and curling.

Polynesians
love to scream loud, gold teeth is still fashionable, very nice people but do not piss them off, learned to "haka" before to walk, deceptively strong and fast, sometimes they are confused with black people, are allowed to say the "n" word.

PREPARE TO GET YOUR NUTS SMASHED

Getting kicked in the nuts sucks, fortunately when other people get kicked in the nuts its hilarious. ball tapping, squirrel tapping, nut shots, undercarriage kicks are all a necessary evil in this world. I kicked one of my friends in the nuts and it hurt him for days. Since the pain did not subside he went to the doctor and discovered that her has testicular cancer. I saved his life.

Women, you will never understand why its so funny because you don't have them. just like how men don't understand your obsession with "The Bachellor"

Now for your enjoyment a compilation of people getting kicked in the nuts.
(disclaimer) Your sides may or may not split open because of laughter

if you enjoy, like, or support the following

Al gore, global warming, the view, pro choice, medical marijuana, welfare, MS13, moveon.org, rolling stone magazine, the obama campaign, THE GOVERNATOR, illegal immigrants, amnesty, girl pants on guys, sex and the city, desperate housewives, the mayor of LA, all villains on 24, celebrity gossip

chances are no one likes you

Fat People

so i read on aol that over 35% of Americans will be fat by the year 2030... raise your hand if you think this is a problem. if you just raised your hand you are wrong. there is nothing wrong with fat people in fact my theory is that big people are more healthy than skinny folk.

example a: if there is a famine who is going to die first? the skinny guy.
example b: if a fat guy and skinny guy fall of a boat in the ocean which one is going to float to safety? probably the one who looks like a booey
example c: if there were a sudden freeze who is going to survive the cold? yep, the fat guy. last example, see the pic? who do you think will win in a fight? I rest my case.

Honestly if it was such a big problem you would see more fat people dieing in the streets. i have yet to meet a person who is dieing of being fat. i have met more sickly skinny college girls than sick fat people.
I have never met a fat person with a cold
who has an easer time giving birth, fat chicks or skinny chicks?

bottom line, fat people are healthier than skinny people. Aol, you are suck for posting that story

if you enjoy the following:

will ferrell, jack black, glenn beck, spots center, talk radio, a good party shirt, mullets, christians, browns, blacks, whites, yellows, new socks, low taxes, fox news, hot showers, halo, net flix, automotives, Elf, brian regan, John and Ken kfi more stimulating talk radio, petrose and money, dr. laura, morals, a cool refreshing beverage, poetry, san diego, ron burgandy, marvel comics, white shoes, marrage, black hair, shaving your legs, the office, scratonicity, Dwight Schrute.

you will find this blog tickling your fancy

if you do not know what any of these are i suggest you use the google machine to find out so we can all laugh in one accord

the inagural post

#1 i hate grammar and i will spell a lot of stuff wrong. just how i do
#2 i love talk radio and so should every living creature
#3 the end