Swine flu? Another global warming?!?!

Swine flue?..... SWINE FLU?!?!? Has anyone seen "Willow?" You know the pig part? seeing Val Kilmar being transfigured into a pig will forever be ingrained in my head. Probably the most traumatic moment in my 4th year of being alive. My wife and i have a couple that we are good friends with and it so happens that they went to Mexico on a cruise the exact week that the mass media decides to come out with the hysteria that we are all going to die from getting porked. I hope our friends don't come back as pigs. And if they do at least come back with wings so we can settle all of the unpaid debts contingent upon pigs flying.

I love my Job

I am not a bad person. I like many things pedestrians like unto you do. For example, dancing with the stars i love because it's the only show that my wife lets me watch with out shielding my eyes to the blatant partial nudity of some of the female dancers. I could say the same about Americas next top model but those chicks are a bunch of ugly banana face ducklings that need over one million dollars of lighting equiptment and 9,000 shots to look half way human. I'm off topic, my apologies. I love my job but some of you may hate me after this post. I evict people. I am paid not to care about the lives of those who did not make enough money in these hard economic times to pay their mortgage. 3 weeks ago i kicked out two little old ladies from a home they inherited from their father. ask me if i let one tear glisten on my cheak? NO because i DONT CARE! you know those movies where a family is about to lose their home but they find some magical way to come up with the money and everyone lives happily ever after? Well i'm what they see when the magic did not happen. No this post is not particulary funny in fact if you are laughing you must have no heart... and that must mean we will get along.

This one is for my boy!

Ok everyone if you don't know my boy JD yet, you are missing out on a large piece of your lives, also you must not be my friend or even in my blackberry. I don't blog very often and my boy jd called me out on it this last weekend while we were enjoying fine casual dining at BJ's on the Newport peninsula. Yes this is true that i have not had a post since dec. 11 but what can i say i'm a busy guy and i forgot my password to my own blog hence the not being able to blog and being to lazy to email google.
Anyway this is not about me, its about JD. He is my boy not literally but in the way middle aged white guys say it trying to be black... we are good friends. friends enough to save each others lives. ask him how i saved his live one day its very amusing. In case you don't know my boy like i do, cuz i know that you know that i know you don't know him like i do cuz you aint tight wit him or right wit him because i live right next to him and I never see him. here are few things you need to know;
cancer survivor, tall white and handsome, has a slight crook to his nose (don't worry his mom didn't even notice till he was 21) slept with his door open in college, has the most fantastic collection of shoes to rival ANY modest budget beyatch west of the Mississippi, can drink and does drink multiple Listerine bottles of water during conversation, holds the longest pee record in appt. 16 at the Shelbourn South Tower, if he lived during WWII could have been mistaken for a Nazi due to his suspiciously exact genetic make up of the "mother race," Bought a motorcycle but dose not ride it cuz he bought it broke, Admits he loves Sion Xb's and even bought one for two weeks, to good guitar hero for a 26 year old, looks better bald, and married a hot black chick.... ok the last one is a slight lie but she is from california so she is hot but not black. Shes an illegal immigrant.
if i missed anything it's because it's late and i my mind aint right.

Just so you guys know me and my boy JD are going to be famous bloggers so keep and eye out. pretty much its going to be a semi gangster blog battle between us and it's going to blow minds.

listen to this spit and go ahead and give me a beatbox for full effect

i'm as serious as a heart attack, i just bloged your arteries
my blogs are so sick their aint no healthy part of me

blog-angsta s wat they callin me go head and check the dictionary
my picta underneath labeled "mutha-blogin visionary"

the blogs that i be cookin are nothin short but culinary
the blogs keep goin on and on just call em bicentenary

they be so quick wit they'll cut you up and down your capillary
so blogin sexy they'll be Paris Hilton's next accessory

BOOOM! now thats what i'm talking about

disney trivia edit

Don't want to brag, but I am the greatest Disney trivia contender ever. The only person to have ever rivaled me was walt himself. go on and test me. better yet here are a few questions i know the answers too and i bet you do not with out the help of google. 1. what is the name of the carriage horse in "aristocats?" 2. what kind of car is lioghtning mcqueen supposed to resemble in "cars" 3. who is gastons side kick? 4. what nationality of the girl that is the singing voice of Jasmine? 5. how many golden camels does prince ali have? how many persian peackocks? 6. finish this line: "befor humans used to sit around and stare at each other....." 7. how many lost boys are there? 8. with out using your fingers name the seven dwarfs. 9. what were jafars three wishes? 10. what are the three rules of wishing?

ESPEEKA DEE ENGLEE

whats that on the wall? its prolly my brains because Obama just blew my mind. This guy wants us to speak spanish? like all of us? as in a national language? like the USA will have TWO national languages? I love spanish people they are the bomb but let me break down the communication break down. If you can name me one country in the world that has TWO national languages and isn't 3rd world please tell me now cuz i cant think of any.

3rd world
india 7 national languages, 1,000+ dilects
philippines 2 national languages, 100 dialects
indonesia who the freak knows how many
Africa isnt there still uncharted land in africa?


1st world
USA, uno national languages
England, one
Germany, one
scottland, one
france, one
italy, one
greece, one

i could go on but for the sake of not i wont.

technacally you can say canada has two but come on really, no one really likes canada. nothing good has come out of canada, toronto bluejays, rapters, maple leafs, all subprime professional sports teams that will never win a chapionship anything.

Bottom line: its bad enough kids today have created their own txt language, Learning spanish will not make illegal immagrants any more American.

NO GOD ALLOWED

public schools, or should i say a malicious union of nefarious liberals dictating what children think do and eat. I hate them and i hope that my children will never experience a California public school.

here is what i find funny, it is not only accepted but encouraged that teachers talk about sex and how it works, talk about evolution like it's a proven fact that man has come from monkeys. Hand out condoms, have daycare centers, encourage sexual promiscuity, teach that being gay is a good and a completely natural thing.


heaven forbid that the word "GOD" be mentioned! that's grounds for expulsion! unless of course you are using it as a curse word THEN you may say God. As long as you are using it disrespectfully its ok. By the way no staring at the pregnant freshman next to you.

"because i'm the mom, thats why"

moms live by a different set of rules. they need no reason to back up what they say. when mom tells you to do something you do it regardless if it even does not need doing. Although mothers have generic responses like "it builds character" "makes you a good person" or "i dont care what the neighbor mom lets them do" very rarely do they need to back up a decision.

 You see mothers have these mystical powers that can blow children's minds with out warning or reason. being an observant guy i tried blowing my wife's mind, immediately she kicked my butt up through my head. 

don't ask me how moms do it, i dunno. all i know is that you kids better be on your toes cuz mazzah knows when you need more character. take it from a pro, find ways to build your own character because moms way is the hard way..  Let it be known so says kino filipino!